To our elected officials: You sheepishly sided with these race-baiters as they turned you into Flag-Yankers. Now they think they OWN YOU.
As it turns out, Cecil the Lion was no choirboy. Photos have surfaced of Cecil in the act of killing and eating Gary the Gazelle. Gary was a favorite of both locals and visitors at Zimbabwe's Hwange National Park, where he delighted onlookers with his trademark leap, while clicking his heels. Gary was 12 years old and leaves his beloved wife, Greta Gazelle, and their 8 (unnamed) offspring. Gary's long-time friend and confidante, Zeke the Zebra said, "A lot of people are crying over Cecil lately, but, let me tell you, I've lost a lot of friends and family to him. He was an animal. I won't be crying no tears."
Meanwhile, Carlos the Crocodile looked Gerald the Giraffe in the eye and said, "I knew Cecil the Lion. I was friends with Cecil the Lion; and you, sir, are no Cecil the Lion." Then he ate Albert the Albatross.
Corey the Cormorant is very upset at all of this, and now refuses to talk to Rhonald the Rhinoceros.
Not only that, but Mark the Meerkat was about to voice his opinion, when Eldon the Elephant stepped on him. Now there is a lawsuit filed by Terrence the Toucan, but everyone knows he's fruit-loops.
Harold the Hyena is completely innocent in this case, as he was off on tour as opening act of "Canine Comedy For The Preservation Of Obama's Legacy" (they raise money for Obama's Kenyan Birth Certificate Museum). Tony the Tiger is also not a suspect, because he's GRRREAT!
Rumors are that Cecil killed Gary, because Gary had a Rhodesian Flag.
Earlier, guests at Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s 91st birthday party dined on elephant, lion, buffalo, sable, and impala meat, while weepy-eyed lion-huggers said NOTHING.
(The last sentence is true, unfortunately)
He's Back better than ever.
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